1. New England Patriots (1) – The Pats are totally dominating every facet of the game and this is the blowout everyone including Vegas, Santa, Rudolph and all the elves thought it would be. Ho Ho Ho what a blowout this was. A forty burger and was never in doubt. They are close to home field advantage now and just have to concentrate next week to seal it for sure.
2. Dallas Cowboys (2) – The Cowboys spent the first half trading scores with Detroit and as the game went to the halfway point it seemed like it could be anyone’s game. Then the second half started. Dallas D put a hard hit on Stafford and possibly addled him. The Cowboys then scored 3 unanswered TDs and blew out Detroit. This opens the door for Washington but they didn’t want to walk in it last week. A good win for a team that has clinched everything and needs to figure out if they want to risk much of their stars next week.
3. Pittsburgh Steelers (3) – The Steeler seem to have been full of turkey, stuffing and possibly ham and glazed veggies as they started out slow. Like the Who’s down in whoville they started to grow. They found that having Bell score TDs was better than Boswell FGs and with a wink of an eye and nod to Antonio Brown up the chimney went Baltimore’s playoff hopes. A super exciting come from behind win when the Steeler D had some issues. The Steelers are in the playoffs!
4. Oakland Raiders (4) – The Raiders came storming out and dominated a bad Colt team in all phases and put the game away and neatly had it under control…until the sack. How can you be up 19 points and potentially have your season ruined? Have the MVP of league get wrapped up with a sack and hurt his leg. If Carr is done (and he is) so are the Silver and Black. McGloin is ok but he’s no Carr. A great but possibly season changing win.
5. Atlanta Falcons (6) – The Falcon O can do no wrong and is ripping the what used to be a good Panther D in many splendid ways. The Falcons D is getting it done. They have joined in the cheap shots on Caaaam but hey there are no calls for that so why not? The Falcons were never challenged. The D played a good game and the O was able to just score enough to never have this in doubt. A good win over a terrible team.
6. Houston Texans (8) – The Texans seemed to sleep through the first half on Christmas Night. They must have been full of turkey. They could muster very little against a game Bengal D and seemed destined to lose and keep the AFC South a mess. Then there was one blown coverage and they took a slim lead. One missed FG and they won and clinched! It was like an ugly Christmas Sweater but Houston will wear it proud as they have won the South.
7. Kansas City Chiefs (13) –Kansas City wasn’t very kind to Denver on Christmas night, this was never in doubt for a second. The Chief D destroyed the Bronco Hapless O and the Chief O was explosive. They beat down Denver every single way and clinched a playoff spot. The Chiefs put the cherry on top by using Dontari Poe and his slim 346 pounds to toss a TD against the “BRONCO D”. Let’s put this in our memory Poe tossed a TD against the ‘best secondary in football’ lol. KC wins.
8. New York Giants (5) – Last night in the pre-game the amiable Rich Eisen was trying to describe Eli Manning and his dual performance ability. He struggled for stating what we all know is ‘the girl on the hill’ syndrome. When She’s good she’s great and when she’s bad she’s awful. When Manning has played well the G-men win tons but alas when he sucks…lets go to the wretched product that is TNF. Eli proved once more that TURNOVERS ARE GOLD as he threw an early pick six that was the difference in the game. He added 2 more third down picks and was just terrible and the G-men lost and may yet make the playoffs but they are not a threat to anyone with Eli at QB.
9. Miami Dolphins (12) – A pretty good effort for 30 minutes. They have a good rush O going and Moore is just doing enough. The D is controlling Buffalo and they have a small lead. The Dolphins did all they could to win and lose. They pulled into a double-digit lead at least twice. Their D couldn’t stop Buffalo at all and even fell behind. A miracle late FG got them to OT and they ran on the back of Jay Ajayi and got a key win. They are in the playoffs and if they get Tannehill back they could make some small noise in the playoffs. A gutsy no quit win.
10. Washington Redskins (15) – The Redskins seem to have shaken off whatever affected them last week. The offense is running roughshod over the BEARS D and if their D can just keep its collective mind off what Santa is bringing then they should have this in hand. The game was never in doubt, as sure as Santa was coming down chimneys tonight Washington gift wrapped a 40 burger and won. Had they whupped a bad Carolina last week this game might have punched their playoff ticket but now they still have work to do and need help with this win.
11. Green Bay Packers (19) – The Packers are having a field day with Aaron Rodgers ripping the Vikes D with TDs by pass and even by run. Pretty Ok Pack D has them nicely out in the lead. The Packers were never slowed on O. Rodgers put up a ton and the D didn’t let in near enough to make this close. Now it comes down to week 17 versus Detroit. Altho the way the rest of the NFC is playing Green Bay may have a wild card sown up by Boxing Day.
12. Seattle Seahawks (17) – The Seattle Seahawks have been flat in so many ways today. They were unable to stop either pass or run and were knocked down into a hole. The Seahawks managed to battle back in the 2nd half and got some points going. The Hawk D didn’t make much of an effort in the same time frame and it seems that the Seahawks will lose and continue to crawl on their tummies into the playoffs. Seattle came all the way back but missed an extra point so it is tied. The vaunted Hawk D couldn’t make a late stop and they lost and finally it is Christmas Eve! *The Seahawks move up because they are in*
13. Detroit Lions (14) – For a while it looked like Detroit was going to be heard on Boxing day night. They matched Dallas point for point and looked legit. The second half brought a complete collapse on O and D. They never scored another point, they let in 21 and now they are hanging on by their fingertips to the playoffs. They face the surging Packers and I would bet dollars to donuts that Detroit will miss the playoffs and this will be one of the great collapses in NFL History. A bad loss.
14. Tennessee Titans (9) – The Titans are back to the ways of last week and started out very slow and are trailing a bad Jag team badly. If they can pull their collective head out of their ass, they could still win this game or they are throwing away their football playoff chances. Whatever playoff chances this team had went down with Mariota’s ankle. They lost badly to a very very very very bad Jag team and I am sticking a fork in them even if no one else does. The Titans are done.
15. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (10) – One really has to think making the playoffs is allergic to most of the teams in the NFC. Tampa came out in a must win game and played flat on O and D and O and D. They fell behind. They never seem to really get close and when they got to within one possession they on side kicked and splat. Seems like Tampa just doesn’t want to make the playoffs and this loss will go a long way to putting a fork in them.
16. Arizona Cardinals (25) – A pretty good all-around effort by Arizona. Right from the stop the Cards were able to score with running and passing. They jumped up on Seattle and their D has made just enough stops to put them in good position to win this game. If the Cards can hold on they will have a moral victory. The Cards D couldn’t stop Seattle and now they are tied. A fast number of plays and the Card kicker actually hit a FG and they won. That was an ugly win.
17. New Orleans Saints (11) – The Saints are having a great day on O and are playing just enough D to be in control for most of this game. Brees has hit a ton of passes and they never had a real challenge. They have it in hand and with a bad Special teams call this game may be over. A good win for New Orleans but this is really too little too late for the Saints who are done.
18. Cincinnati Bengals (16) – The Bengals D continued its eliminated from the playoffs resurgence. They are much like a baseball team who plays well once knocked out. The Bengals shut down the Texans for most of the game and Cincy got just enough to have a lead. Then Adam PACMAN strip club shooting big mouth scumbag who should be banned from the NFL Jones blew a coverage and let in the TD that put them behind. Then their kicker did his best Blair Walsh imitation and missed the game winner and they lost. This could be it for Marvin Lewis and Dalton should go with him.
19. Buffalo Bills (18) – The Bills have been beaten twice for TDs in the first half and have only managed 7 to answer. The Bills need the D to tighten up or they are not going to threaten Miami much. The Bills fell behind a lot but never gave up. They battled back to take a lead and managed to look like they would pull out a win. Then, their Head Coach didn’t call a time out in time. I have never seen a Head Coach screw that up. I have defended Ryan here for weeks but MY GOD that is about the only thing a Head Coach is solely in charge of and he screwed that up and eventually they lost. Ryan should be fired now. A terrible loss and they are eliminated. Ryan and Ryan are fired and now Taylor is benched and maybe out. I hope Chicago has Tyrod on a speed dial.
20. Jacksonville Jaguars (27) – A great start for Jacksonville. Bortles has been better in the first half then he has been in a few months. The D is playing solid again and they are nicely in the lead in a meaningless game for them. The Jags had their best offense day of 2016 and they even played good D too. They won this game going away and I guess they can take pride in this one although the season is pretty much a hole.
21. Carolina Panthers (20) – Caaam has had no luck but since it’s Christmas he has gifted Atlanta with golden turnovers. With no O and no D this game is rapidly on its way to a total blowout. The Panthers could get no real offense that mattered and their D couldn’t hold down Atlanta. I believe now finally all the talking heads in the NFL NETWORK can state clearly that the Panthers are ELIMINATED. That would be a gift to me.
22. Indianapolis Colts (21) – How bad is Indy? Watch the first half tape of this game. Luck tossed golden pick after golden pick. The Colts D couldn’t stop a fly farting. By the third quarter they were down by 19 when they luckily knocked out Oakland’s starting QB. With their opposition deflated and in prevent they were able to score a little and get it close but they lost and are ELIMINATED.
23. Philadelphia Eagles (28) – They got their All pro tackle Lane Johnson back from suspension and he added strength to a terrible O line. Wentz had a bit more time and was able to move the ball well. The Eagles played good solid D and got turnovers and the O scored just enough. It was a nice win for a terrible Eagles team who is just happy to play spoiler when they can now.
24. Minnesota Vikings (23) – The Vikings have no answer to Rodgers or Nelson or much of anything Green Bay tries. Bradford has made a couple of good throws and a couple of bad ones. They traded FG for TD and that will not win here and they are down a ton so it doesn’t look good. The Vikings D was just terrible today and were blown out by Green Bay. There was no hope whatsoever that Minnesota could score enough to keep up. An ugly loss and voila Minnesota is eliminated.
25. San Francisco 49ers (30) – San Fran must have shot their whole load in last week’s effort. They have been terrible on O and poor on D and are in the process of being defeated by a team that could barely walk out of their locker unescorted. A Christmas miracle occurred with the Niners finding some O and putting up 15 points in seconds and they took a slim lead. The D sealed it with a pick and then they had to kneel 3 times and punt to win but they did win.
26. Baltimore Ravens (7) – The Ravens, a kind of aboriginal Christmas symbol *thanks Northern Exposure* were playing the Grinch early and were beating up a Steeler team that didn’t seem to bring their D to this game. The vaunted Raven D then had issues stopping LeVeon Bell but that is a common ailment in the NFL. Then they made one good drive and took the lead and played one bad series of D and lost. They are ELIMINATED!
27. Denver Broncos (22) – Denver sucks. Denver is ELIMINATED. The Cheap shot cheating Denver D allowed a 70-yard TD and allowed a Dontari Poe TD toss. The Denver O sucks. The Denver team sucks. Denver is ELIMINATED.
28. Cleveland Browns (32) – A great first half for Cleveland. The O is hitting on both pass and run and the D has gotten turnovers. The Browns played a good 30 minutes and have a lead. Can they play another 30? The Browns D played hard for 60 and even they played well on special teams. RGIII played like crap and Kessler couldn’t do much but it was enough and they gutted out an ugly win. Merry Christmas Cleveland you are out of the 32nd slot.
29. San Diego Chargers (24) – I could write an encyclopedia on how hard it is for a team to play hard against a bad team. The Chargers D seems to have not realized they need to try to stop Cleveland. They are being whipped by an RGIII led O and that is worth coals in their stockings. They need to wake up or they are gifting a first win to the Browns. The Chargers were at their self-defeating best and made every effort to lose this game. In the end their kicker gave his all to lose and did it. They just lost to the rotten Cleveland Browns. I would be very happy, If I was San Diego, if this team will not just move out of town but PLEASE change the name. Humiliating.
30. New York Jets (26) – No Petty, dying by the Fitz, no D, no O. Talk about your Nightmare Before Christmas – Tim Burton should cast the Jets in the remake. This was scarier than a good Night of the Living Dead remake with Tony Todd. The Jets were terrible, are terrible and once again did enough to get their ill coach fired. Terrible loss.
31. Los Angeles Rams (29) – The Rams have been total crap for a month. Today, they have found a tiny amount of offense and have scored more points here than they scored in the last 3 or 4 weeks combined. They have also found some D. They aren’t allowing their customary 50 burger. It was going to be a Ram win but then the Ram D made its appearance. They somehow just folded up and let in 2 scores in a matter of seconds. Then the O tossed a pick and it seemed over. Then the interim head coach called 3 time outs on Kneel downs and forced time to expire on a punt. That was about the stupidest thing I have ever seen and still the Rams lose. What a terrible loss and pretty classless too.
32. Chicago BEARS (31) – Really poor D for most of the first half. It was a bad pick early that hamstrung the BEARS O. After a while Chicago got some O going and are managing to keep their head above water here but it may be too much to ask for the BEARS D to keep Washington off the scoreboard in the 2nd half. The BEARS D let in 40 again and they had FIVE picks. Talk about the Gold in a silver and gold Christmas. What a loss. The BEARS all deserve coal in their stockings.
There you have it, as always I would love it if someone just reads all the way through my ramblings and also will accept money, preferably tens and twenties! Any thoughts, comments, arguments or agreements are always welcome!
MR N The BEARS Fan